So there I was...

And here I am now and there's a thought in my head something about being a bike messenger and just what that all means, the thought is so profound and so true but the words fail me and when I read this in the hangover future I might remember that thought and I just might find those words so true and so profound to say what I need to say, one bike messenger to another. Yeah, I know it's a Beatles number but when they do it I just don't buy it. Now Cocker....you know, we can talk about our personal shit, one bike messenger to another, it may be different shit but we have that same background noise in our heads, that thing that well....you know?.

She was...

Classic and ahead of her time.
She was so cool she could freeze an ocean
with just a glance.
She was at the same time so hot that
she could bring that same ocean
to a boil
with a different glance.
Someday she'll come back to us
back from the land of stupid..
Until then I remember you and what you were
and what you can be
and now heres a cute little video from the seventies...

That's how we roll. Alaska

I think that means something

I just might quit this messenger thing

But I'm okay with that because if you keep going like this you get  a little bit (no disrespect intended, my messenger family but you know what I mean) like that, and I'm close so close I can taste it, call me Rorschach.

Let's have a tea party where we ocupy some streets

If every one who's kind of pissed off about how things are going got together and talked like grown-ups, then maybe we could skip past all the bullshit figure out the real reasons we're all pissed off and call me silly but maybe fix them and go explore space. Now here's an eighties song with almost cheerful overtones.

Yeah do me like that youtube,

To 10-9 day two days late and a doller short

Photo shamelessly stolen from pilderwaser.com

And tonight my mind was so full of fuck

Thoughts of death and loss and then as I rode home I started singing and the good thoughts just pushed out the bad as I sang the song that happened to be in my head.Maybe because that silly song, that song about the bicycle with the sexual overtones made me think of you and it's true what I'm going to do to you. And maybe you're what I need you to push out the negative and it's true. We're going to gallop all night and it's true.

Video of the day

About the Moose...........they're whores

Someday I hope to be free.

"I hate you for better reasons then you hate me"
Jim Goad.
Oh, god how I hate, how I wish all humanity had one neck so I could throttle you all at once or whatever that guy said.
The polite "No thank you but that is a lovely carving" becomes "Fuck off, I live here, if you're really hurting for a bottle, check with me in November babe."
Kirk why do you drink in the middle of the day?
I prefer to think of it is doing informal volunteer work, keeping retires company.
Truth is so I don't have a gun, no I don't have a gun?
Summer is a bummer for the messenger.
Come in have a beer, stick around for the floor show.
Humanize the others, maybe flash the twins.
make the hate and anger go away,
Thank you, for making tourist season suck a little softer.

Someday I'm gonna quit this messenger shit, really this time I mean it.

It's not as dark as it seams if you saw the movie, in the next five minutes Painless under goes a sort of rebirth.

Videos of the day

As I struggle to write the definitive Sarah Palin post I think these two might come up.


I already used this one but I find it just so strange that I would ever use this in relation to Pallin but oddly it works, somehow? I fear that when I figure just how that video applies to her and somehow because we grew up here at the same time I know it might, maybe it's the way she ripped through the republican party on the way to become Governor and maybe it's the way she fucked with the oil companies like no other Governor R or D has ever before in this state where every one in office sucks the big oil dick, I know she has her flaws in fact I coined a rule of politics during her term "Don't do the same shit that the guy you ran against did" If I had lived elsewhere ironically enough I would have called that the "Obama rule", now to be fair I call it the Palin/Obama rule", but she's more Patti Smith then Pat Nixon........ and that just might mean our one hope for true freedom in 2012 might be some chick from the valley and that scares me and it should scare you too. Just ain't right. So, once again I give you the thought that in the upside down world of today just maybe, Sarah Palin is a.....

And she has no guilt.............

They keep asking

What's it like being a bike messenger in Alaska? Well, most of the time it feels like this, when it's good it feels like this. In the winter it looks like this, in summer it looks and feels more or less like this.


and it's a little like that and it's getting to be a little like this.

Videos of the day

Sometimes you can't really put it in words. This song is for you my brothers!

If it's tourist season...

....why can't we shoot 'em? That's a little joke we tell ourselves Downtown, yeah it's a joke and we never dream about siting on a roof with a scoped MP-5SD looking for matching jackets and gift shop bags, no never. They're an important part of the economy and all. there's no hate behind the smile.
Welcome to Anchorage.
I hope you enjoy your stay.
Now could you please
get the fuck out of my way.
No hate behind that smile.
Have a nice day,
asshole.

Videos of the day

Give me a P! Give me a T! Give me an S! Give a D! What's that spell

Some times I find myself thinking back to the days of dodging .22 automatics and the later days of dodging 22 ton trucks and 2 ton cars and somehow when I think about these things falling upon my brain one after the other and my mind is just so full of fuck and I can barely hang on, just the thought of you, well, it helps me keep it together.

So, there I was.

Much love to Bob the Guy.

I used to think I was depressed

Then I realized that things are really depressing. You know shit like the economy, politics where it seams like whichever party wins, we lose, the state of "this messenger thing" and all the usual fucked up shit that happens. When I think of these things it's late and I'm tired, maybe I had a drink more then I should have. Yeah, I get a little dark. Most of the time when I'm too preoccupied with life and stuff to be pecking away at some silly blog I'm actually one happy son of a bee. Oh one little thing. Sorry about the necro video, speaking as a feminist myself I knew it was wrong, I might even be offended if I were still capable of of that but dam I am that cocksure on the road. I can't pretend I'm any better I use and abuse other human beings for my own gratification I just do it a little differently, can I look down on The Sexorsist and Max Hardcore? No fuck that noise I knew it was wrong and I did it because it was rightWhat's your name? Who's you Daddy?Is he rich like me? Has he taken any time to show you what you need to know?

Analogies can break down.

In an earlier post I tried to make an analogy between driving a car and packing a gun. Just one key area where that breaks down. You pick up a loaded gun you know you have a dangerous object under your control at least most people even the nut jobs get that one. The average driver turns the key and gives it no thought what so ever and most people don't. Heck, you want to take anothers life don't shoot them run 'em over when they're walking or riding a bike. "I swear to God, I just didn't see 'em. Yeah that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Just wandered out in front of my car.

Just another night in the "messenger bar"

Once upon a time I would have been on the other end of the. "Our van ran out of gas outside of 'The Messenger Bar*', rescue us." phone call. This just wouldn't have happened not on our watch. We knew better, back then it we knew to say." Screw the van, get the band the fuck out of Darwin's before they talk them into playing a song or two, for a couple of drinks, immediate rescue, like Dunkirk, baby! You with the pick-up, you with the wagon, go to the rescue. Do it for the sake of their second set." This was before they started drinking, before the rescue arrived.

*It's like, this obscure insider Darwin's/bike messenger joke and it's dam funny too. Trust me have I ever lied to you before at least that you know about?

Is it the song or is it the car?

I like these songs kind of, well, sort of, kind of, but I love the Jeepster and the DS-19.
I don't hate cars some I can love some of the classics, even, but for me driving a car is like packing, a deadly weapon, I hate it when morons miss-use either one but that's going to happen regardless of the laws we pass. Ya' gotta have some style, any moron can drive a Subaru or pack a Glock or ride a trendy bike, fixie , "Dutch Style" or the flavor of the month, a man of style packs a 1911, Hi-Power or CZ-75 in his vintage automobile or riding a steel bicycle . No drinking, driving and packing at the same time, just pick one or maybe two long as the first four letters in one of the two aren't d r i n. Got to be responsible. A little drinking and bike riding? Start slow build skill's first and accept responsibility for your own stupidity and of course no carrying your guns. Just a thought here let's have an open carry critical mass. I had a hard time backing "Critical mass" because doing something already legal in a big group like that just pisses people off. I never got behind the "Open carry" thing because doing something already legal like that in big groups just scares the shit out of people. Now combine the two........just maybe a cyclist can get a little respect in this town?

We in Alaska now.

Buddy you don't have to be afraid of that old man over there.
He looks kind of mean but he's just like you.
Come to think of it I know that guy, known him for a long time.
Let's flag him over.
Come on over here meet your brother you don't know.
Another Summer old friends make new friends.
Don't worry baby we's in Alaska .

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

Better minds then mine have said it about the sad state of this messenger thing that is not as good as it once was. In my messenger bag like many I have used before it, is a pocket, the perfect size and shape to carry a half-pint. Never crossed my mind, never had the time to do it, just didn't notice, never really gave it a thought, until a very cold Thursday this last winter. They don't sell half-pints Downtown, never bothered me before, that little legacy from swinging fast buck seventies meets bible thumping eighties. Now I'm not talking' about getting drunk, just a nip here throughout the day. On busier colder days, never gave it a thought, didn't have the time to have the thought. The challenge seams missing or the challenging jobs are fewer, and this video I can relate to but....................

Thnikin'

Thinkin' about that little boy back in the seventies riding on those great big old DC-10's and those big ole' L-1011's going across this big ole' country of ours going to see his Daddy in Washington D.C. and now he's a grown man forty-five years old and Daddy's gone and it's still hard.

Good show Mr. Newman

I'm okay with you not playing my request and if that was you Monday night in Darwin's sorry I didn't buy you a drink and kiss your ass a little but we get a lot of celebrity look a likes round here.

Drunken love note.

Not to long ago was the twelfth anniversary of our first date. It seams like yesterday but we were so much younger then, yet we've aged so little, somehow? This video reminds me of our first dates, tho not as much intoxication and not as euro-hip-hop but we were just as hip and sensual back then at "Bernie's" and "D Street" and those other places not there or not that hip anymore and these days we're more homebodies with maybe a night out at that place near work a little rough around the edges but it's home.

Drinkin' and thinkin'

Edited some semi-recent posts you'll have to find them yourselves as sleepytime was hours ago. Play me out.

If it wasn't for your misfortunes I'd be a hevenly person today.

A long time ago I was on the college radio and I used to work with this very sweet girl who had the show one show before mine and sometimes we would go on the air together, it was great it sounded like "the Dirty Old Man and the Sweet Little Girl show" it was dam fine radio. Her air name was "Blue Velvet" and she had never seen the film by the same name. Her opening song was "Blue Monday" Ironically it's become my theme song these days somehow the lyrics seam to apply to this messenger shit I'm doing, on the road mistreated and abused in this coupling with traffic only the rhythm is more bossa-nova.. I still think about her. I miss her and I hope she's happy now, I hope she's found the same kind of love I have and I still like to think that she is my friend but that's me. And I still find it so hard to say what I need to say.

The first rule of "Fight Club"?

So I had found myself in a conversation that caused me to get really fucking drunk in order that I could forget having it and I did. I tried to change the subject to the recent past and it hit me later on the ride home to loaded to remember who I had been talking to,We all get a tad nostalgic but truth be told no matter who you are, it's true.

In the "messenger bar" tonight..

My buddy brought in some of his work buddies, he kept introducing me as the farthest north cycle messenger. I was honor bound to correct him because cats have been working Helsinki for years and I hear there are a couple cats north of that in Finland. There may or may not have been messengers in Fairbanks, might have been a summer only thing, in that case who gives a flying fuck at a rolling donut? Year round that's some balls or ovaries, I may be one bad motherfucker.... but I won't take credit where it's not due. I do think if the Finns, the phantoms of Fairbanks, some of my redneck buddies and I get together, we happy cold weather drunkards, oh we happy few that have lived the word "Snotcycle" it's gonna be a motherfuckin' party.

Just sayin'

Not again

Every time I turn around there you are and someday you'll be there for me.

Oh, yes I'm going insane, you know I'm laughing at the freezing rain

I heard that lyric from Steely Dan at first it didn't mean much but after fourteen years of this messenger shit, it makes sense as I put on my bad sneakers and raise up my pina colda because when the difficult things raise their ugly heads it just gets funny. Meet me at the bar, the coffeeshop I'm a quite and modest guy unless I'm really loaded but on the road NSFW I'm this guy's attitude.

Video of the day

Sometimes I wish to speak of philosophy, of the world and how it should be and how it is. I want to speak of things I think might happen. I want to speak of ideas, of dreams and how to make them real. I want to speak of love and understanding. I want to say things so simple they become complex. I want to talk of joy and love. I just want to offer some helpful hints to my friends. BTW I didn't post this to endorse any product I posted this for the advice on shotguns, just have to add to the bit for apartment dwellers, your first two are birdshot after that we go to buck and slug city.

Right now I want to say something...

Sweet and romantic but I can't find the words and it has a lot to do with us and just a little to do with cycling on ice. So a little song about cycling, yeah cycling ..............?

Bobby died.

I can not pretend that we were great friends and all. We just bumped into each other from time to time.He was one of the early winter riders, rockin' an old road bike turned hybrid before the climate change, he broke his collar bone when the change hit, you, you yuppie winter hipsters are not even fit to lick the sweat from his balls even spread on buns from that rustic bake shop you pussies like. For there was a Man.I liked him and I miss him.

The more you hate the stronger she becomes

Until she becomes an anti-hero but ya'all always said you wanted to see a strong independent woman in politics but you got her.Sarah Pallin Rock n' Roll .......You 420 types think O'bummer is going to cut you a break. I don't think so. Now my girl, Sarah she's from the valley...

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Happy new year, mother fuckers!