Summer is a bummer

At least as far as the work goes. Sporadic, a week of sheer mind numbing boredom and then a weeks worth of work all crammed into one day but then you are alive you have purpose you have meaning, you flow. Always the tourists which they tell you are not as good as the tourists of days gone by. On the package trip not spending a dime. Ain't sellin' like he used to. New tourist old tourist they're still in your fuckin' way and asking for directions to things you don't go to."Is the coffee good here?" There are five fuckin' places to buy espresso within a block, this one has a line. " 'Moose on the lose' what a cute T-shirt" Not when you've seen it go down baby, saw an old man stomped to death outside of UAA. Welcome to Anchorage. You hover between the madness of too much and not enough. Summer is a bummer. Summer when the dark demons come by for a beer, to kind of hang out and chat put on some tunes and eat all your snacks. Yet , summer is so beautiful it hurts. I should take off from work leave it to the wannabes and fixter/hipsters and spare myself the up and down joyride to madness, just trying to hang-on until the snow falls. Summer when you have to much time to think about the thing you do and when it's slow you ask yourself. Why? And when it's busy, when you have more things to deliver then you have time, when it seams someones said to at least half the drivers. "Kill him but try to make it look like an accident. When your mind and body hurt from the things you did on that road slicing, dicing, weaving with a godlike grace doing things that you cannot describe, when you have to have a few just so you can go home and be a human being to the wife and kitten. Then the answer is all to clear. That you were born to this life, this is what God made you for and who are you to deny the will of your creator.

Sometimes I find it so hard to say what I need to say

"My Dad's in there he's like God to me. My gods in there he's like a Dad to me. 'Well give him all your cigarettes.' They said and he did time and got raped by guards and prisoners and knifed and kicked the shit out of and went in a hole for five months, three weeks and did not cry for nine years which is almost a million"
Steven Jesse Bernstein
When I can talk about this I will but until then here's a little song.

Sorry I didn't stop to talk.

I did see you by the school as I headed back downtown. I might have stopped to talk but what with my father in the hospital I wanted to be up that hill before I had to take another call about that. Of course I didn't make it up the hill before that call came in. I could have turned around but I was on the clock when seconds could matter, I could not stop and chat. I like running into you it reminds me how happy I am now.

Here comes the sun

It's early spring and the sun is brighter it can melt the ice again. Vast stretches of pavement are clear including most of downtown. Unfortunately what ice remains is really nasty. It's cold enough in the morning but things get a tad soft wet and slushy. Again more studs then you need because when you need them you really do need them. The grinding crunching noise is quite something. I still hear it for hours after I get off the bike. On the one hand I'll miss the winter on the other I look forward faster lighter bikes and quiet tires.

Ever feel like you've been cheated?

Every fuckin' day
but you know me, I can't complain.
Annoyance idiots from out of town.
Nuisance idiots from other parts of town.
Nice car asshole, Now learn how to drive it.
Keep playing bullshit games with my life.
One night I won't be workin'
One night I won't be drinkin'
That night we will play
you and I and you will serve as
an example.
I will point out your stupidity
at the next stop light.
I'll say it nicely
You'll get pissed off cause some cat on a bike
told you how to drive.
and then your gonna do it
Make that move.
The one that makes what I do next
Justifiable
Rendezvous C'mon!

That folks is a little poem inspired by trying to ride home during the animal skinning festival aka. fur rendezvous.

Sometimes I can't sleep.

Thinking about the past and some people I used to know. I try to talk about it have to borrow someone elses words. Where is my literary laxative when can I let my beer shit out.

I love my wife but oh, you kids........

Come in for a beer it's okay.
We're your friends
We're not like the others
Stick around for the floorshow.
Sometimes it's you
and you don't even know it.
To paraphrase Ferlinghetti.
I am leading a quiet life
outside of Darwin's every day
watching the world walk by
in it's curious shoes
I once started out
to walk around the world
but ended up in Darwin's
I am the man.
I suffered
somewhat.
I should buy a
T-shirt.