If it wasn't for your misfortunes I'd be a hevenly person today.

A long time ago I was on the college radio and I used to work with this very sweet girl who had the show one show before mine and sometimes we would go on the air together, it was great it sounded like "the Dirty Old Man and the Sweet Little Girl show" it was dam fine radio. Her air name was "Blue Velvet" and she had never seen the film by the same name. Her opening song was "Blue Monday" Ironically it's become my theme song these days somehow the lyrics seam to apply to this messenger shit I'm doing, on the road mistreated and abused in this coupling with traffic only the rhythm is more bossa-nova.. I still think about her. I miss her and I hope she's happy now, I hope she's found the same kind of love I have and I still like to think that she is my friend but that's me. And I still find it so hard to say what I need to say.

The first rule of "Fight Club"?

So I had found myself in a conversation that caused me to get really fucking drunk in order that I could forget having it and I did. I tried to change the subject to the recent past and it hit me later on the ride home to loaded to remember who I had been talking to,We all get a tad nostalgic but truth be told no matter who you are, it's true.

In the "messenger bar" tonight..

My buddy brought in some of his work buddies, he kept introducing me as the farthest north cycle messenger. I was honor bound to correct him because cats have been working Helsinki for years and I hear there are a couple cats north of that in Finland. There may or may not have been messengers in Fairbanks, might have been a summer only thing, in that case who gives a flying fuck at a rolling donut? Year round that's some balls or ovaries, I may be one bad motherfucker.... but I won't take credit where it's not due. I do think if the Finns, the phantoms of Fairbanks, some of my redneck buddies and I get together, we happy cold weather drunkards, oh we happy few that have lived the word "Snotcycle" it's gonna be a motherfuckin' party.

Just sayin'

Not again

Every time I turn around there you are and someday you'll be there for me.

Oh, yes I'm going insane, you know I'm laughing at the freezing rain

I heard that lyric from Steely Dan at first it didn't mean much but after fourteen years of this messenger shit, it makes sense as I put on my bad sneakers and raise up my pina colda because when the difficult things raise their ugly heads it just gets funny. Meet me at the bar, the coffeeshop I'm a quite and modest guy unless I'm really loaded but on the road NSFW I'm this guy's attitude.