It's late, here's an update

I do this blog when I have time to myself and sometimes I post an idea and I'm just too tired, lit or some combo to really do it right. I delete the ones that really suck and leave the ones that just kind of suck. This one I just had to flesh out. I might do that from time to time. I like to throw in a video or picture with my posts. Lately for the videos I've been favoring the local hip-hop/rap stuff (I'm a square middle-aged white suburbanite these day's forgive me if I fuck-up the labels) because it reminds me of some stuff I heard about back in my youth. Yeah the background music was different, the complexions lighter, not as much public violence, etc. and they's all just stories second hand and I can't remember names for crap,but then music videos weren't made. Just lot's of cash floating around legitimate and some ...............shenanigans ensued according to the stories but here in Alaska it's the same story just different players and I don't give a fu.. if your from Cali, you don't wanna role up on my fat white ass in a deep dark alley...........

Dear Mr. Randy Newman,

I've been a fan of yours since the "Short People" day's. Don't get me wrong that was a brilliant song but what won me over, well... I was just eleven or twelve years old flying on an airline that don't exist anymore called Northwest Orient and on their country music channel was some of your earlier work along with Tom Waits. I was going from Anchorage, Alaska to Washington D.C. to see my Daddy who was from Texas and I've been a fan ever since and anyway my wife and I have tickets to the Anchorage show and I was just wandering if you could play a song for me, maybe as dedication to our last Governor .just a thought?

Sarrah Pallin's Alaska

It's a T.V. show a dream, a fantasy it's a dream and that's okay. On the one hand the show sells Alaska and it's a wonderful place and it's people are proud people in the video above is a white sounding guy from Spenard performing rap in L.A. that might only make sense to Alaskans (You might get the feeling behind it but it might be hard for you to fully understand it unless your from here), now that's balls and we're like that. On the other it seams to be about selling Mrs. Pallin's beliefs and that's okay, I guess. That's what makes it a dream. A dream may seam real to the dreamer and it might be close to reality but it's still a dream. So, I just got to be an asshole and say. "Shit ain't like that!" There's more nuances and stuff.To wit we;re all republican and shit but 48% of us who bother to vote will vote for any proposition to legalize weed and well ..... Enjoy the show but it's not like your Alaska or my Alaska and it's not like others Alaska.

Like sheets of glass

Polished to a mirror finish as I rode home tonight. A mirror that reflects back ones soul and the face of that one you love dear, the one you can't bear to say to once again. "Honey, I hurt myself again, sorry." Winter hits fast and she hits hard, blink for a second and the sparkly, soft and wet becomes hard, cold, slick and dry, As you rode the sheets of shiny ice on the new longtail bike you thought. "How can I be happy when so much is just so fucked up?" That mirror reflects back whats going on behind your back, the things you see ahead aren't much cause for joy but you remain upright, you ride and you try to enjoy the happy while you have it. Like sheets of glass, shiny like a mirror, and now home and warm I think about what a friend in the emerald city wrote.

When the streets sparkle like diamonds.

During those between season times, when fall turns to winter or when winter turns to spring. In the daytime pavement is naked and exposed but wet. You wait out the rush hour traffic it gets colder, water freezes and the streets sparkle like diamonds as you ride home drunk, just a tad, and the tires are quiet and it is good, instead of slushy and nasty the streets sparkle like diamonds.

Once days like this were rare.

The lulls it's not just me with the chainsmoking boredom the lack of purpose give me back the high speed feats of daring-do.

You're a "suicide girl" right? Well why don'you...

I may have stole the title from Mr. Jim Goad. It's late I can't sleep our cat has me pinned to the couch, I'm watching this thing called "A suicide girls guide to life" with sound off hence the title.I used to know girls who kind of looked like these girls once upon a time along the dachshund of time, the piercings, the tats, the hair dye, the punk rock Betty Page new wave fashion sense. One key difference if I were watching those girls cavort about in states of undress, I'd have to move the cat but something is missing or takes themselves a little too seriously and the cat may rest. As the show progresses I have a song going through my head it's so wrong but still funny. As I find myself traveling through time into the past and looking towards the future while watching soft core cable smut like a ten year old unaroused but unable to turn it off. Somehow it all still scares me but this now here with you and how lucky I am to have it and the sheer amazement of it keeps me awake as much as the pain in my body. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen tonights band "The Bloodhound Gang", enjoy the veal and don't forget to tip your waitress 'cause the owner don't pay shit.Playing us out Mr. Randy Newman. Good Night.

No coment about the senate race, just aint going there

S S D D, shit

History repeats like a bad carry out lunch. No it hasn't snowed yet. I just liked this photo my buddy Scot took last year and well, I do wear a lot of black but I'm to much of a close-out shopper to go all black but......shit.

So, boys, what's with the hat's?

We bumped into each other awhile ago and spoke of weddings and bike and such, and so much to talk about but still I gotta ask, what's with the hat's? Accept baldness with dignity J can and I will or join the hair club for men, I still love you but I got to ask.BTW all you folks who singened my guest book on classmates, thanks but I aint paying to find out who you are, wanna get in touch do the fuckin' math, okay?

Happy, happy birthday to me

Old bosses and bad attitudes

Think about the past old jobs and this job and future jobs and the scars left on your soul. I go into someones place of work, they can tell I aint no courier, they're shit scared. they think I'm there to kill 'em and I...........................and we paraphrase and we don't say exactly what we're thinkin' maybe a twinkle in the eye gives it away, the knowledge that when that bad thing they always talk about happens I will survive, you.......so, eat that micro-wave pizza, eat it.

Anger, Fear, Hatred and Contempt.

These may be bad emotions, for the first time in fourteen years I went four days without feeling those emotions, I was in a paradise an island paradise,so peaceful, so calm a few more days I might have gone mad. Perhaps I need those emotions to be complete, I actually missed the rain and the tourist and four-wheeled douches I missed the anger, fear hatred and contempt. Is that how sick I have become.

An Anchorage Bike Messenger Thing Boost

Now I admit I don't get out much anymore so, I only know these cats from You Tube, never seen 'em live but I put this video on one of my rambling posts because I thought they knew how to talk about this weird place and next month they're opening for Snoop Dog. Just sayin' and keeping it real, kidding. Congrats guys hope to make the show.

That's Kirk. Yeah, like fuckin Star Trek

Miss you Dad. In 1969, the year of Woodstock my father purchased the album that this video came from. I was four. He came home and immediately put it on the record player. Mom ducked out somewhere. I stuck around. It's my first memory of seeing my Dad experience joy. One of my favorite Albums of all times. Thanks, ya Old Bastard. Rest in peace.
.

Some day I'm gonna quit this shit.

Says the crackhead
Says the junkie.
Says the bike messenger,
But just let me get high, really high like when I started,
Just one more time then,
I'm done no, really I'm done.
Yeah right.
When they pull the stem out of your mouth,
When they pull the needle out,
When they pull the bike from your cold dead thighs.Back when I had my first taste this song was a new one. It had the rhythm of winter at least winters then which are not as good as winter now. Melodic, thrash, melodic, thrash repeat as needed

I remember

Early on during our courtship coming down west high hill, cutting through the stoner golf course rolling onto I st. mid-winter as the sun rose, this song would roll through my head.

Sweet Darlin' let me play ya some songs

My mentality it's a little gangsta as you watch the video note a couple key things after our protagonist lines up his dream date he says. "As I hit the door thinkin' will I live another twenty four" same thing when I hit the door, he determines it's a good day based as much on the bad things that did not happen as the good things that did. Like him I am a professional criminal. True my crimes are traffic violations mostly and the violence is mostly directed at me and no compact Glock on my belt but still it's close everyday could be your last you play that way, you make love that way, like it could be the last time like the hammer could fall any time and you tell yourself you didn't have a choice but you can't even imagine living any other way....... and then I have some other issues

but baby doll I'm yours to have and to hold and I will do the best that I can. I still gotta be me

A song for Toronto

You've got the G20 coming up, now, closest I got to something like that was this whaling conference." The Man" expected the worst and he was ready but there were no fake anarchists. Nothing happened "The Man"was alert but bored and I obeyed the letter of the law, the story had a happy ending, "The Man" did not bother me, but it was a.

and it was anoyying. Just thinking about you and wishing for the best and hoping your cops will be as bored as mine were.

Do a little dance

Today I found myself wondering if I still had "it" in me. That thing that makes a messenger, well,..... a messenger? Have I become to soft, to comfortable? Can I still throw down? Yes, oh thank the God I don't believe in, oh yes I can still dance!

I'm here all day, Anchorage Alaska dog, that's my hood.

Hit play for the background music. Wait 25 seconds, okay..........I try to talk to you about this shit but you don't get it.Where else can you catch a stray from a "gang related shooting" or get stomped to death by a moose at about the same odds where else can a bike messenger say "I saw the nicest beaver in the bar tonight." and not be talking about a ladies lady parts but the pelt his buddy brought in. Fresh off the trapline.That's my hood.
Let us raise a glass to our fallen comrades and to those who "get it" and the other kindred spirits.
Just maybe, on memorial day we should take a moment to think about those who severed and are still living.

Darcy Allan Shepherd, this song is for you my brother , I miss you like all the others

I can't really talk about this now, I just can't find the words but I gotta say something.

Downtown just aint the same.

It's homogenized and disenified and oh so wholesome. A few patches of good honest sleaze remain. It's just not the same. Bukowski would have felt at home not that long ago.

Sometimes you just have to skip town.

I love Anchorage but sometimes it just gets on your nerves. To make matters worse I go to the bar and I get cornered by these life draining fucks, see my last post. I want to have a few drinks with people I like but, no. Tourist season is coming and I'm starting to almost hate downtown So, I took a little jaunt to Amsterdam. The wife and I had lovely time, quite relaxing, thank you very much. The best part about going to Amsterdam when you live in a place with a large tourist industry is it makes your hometown tourist less annoying. You find yourself feeling like the ultimate geek tourist. Ten seconds later someone come in and bumps your self-esteem up a couple notches.

Sometimes someone else said it better

Another night in the "messenger bar".

What more can you say?

Sometimes it's like this...

And sometimes it's like that and kind of like that other thing.
Once your like this and now your more like that but your a little something else
Sane man with a strained thigh muscle and can't sleep, knows he has a busy day ahead, he stretches takes some over the counter something.
Bike messenger he stretches has a drink or three blogs about it.

Or maybe your something in between but soon you'll be this guy.

On ice, then slush and it's all good.

More advice for young people

You passed the test you got the license to steel go ahead do it well it's fun after today it's work. "Good drinkins good thinkin'" but it's still work.

Advice

"Ya gotta quit smoking, that'll kill you"

Dear God could I be that lucky to live so long for the cigarettes to kill me. Every time I go to work one small mistake and I'm dead or worse. Let me be so lucky as to die a painful death from tobacco years form now rather then die a painful death on the street tomorrow. When I hang up my cleats, then I might stop but I'd hate to think of myself as a quitter. Until then please stay out of my body bag, just get off my ass.

Happy Birthday, Sam

Los Anchorage you call it

You say it so smugly. Well fuck you, you need us to be Los Anchorage, where else are you gonna get your supplies, where else can you have your crack, booze, hooker binges. Without us your frontier thing would shrivel up and die. How many frequent flyer miles on your account. How many trips to Seattle? Me I am who I am, I live here I accept it for what it is. Do you truly accept where you live? Why you hangin' in Los Anchorage, anyway? I live in Los Anchorage where growin' up here, it's a lot like this and a little like this. We called it Spenard and it was a little more diverse. Small town charm and big city convenience Infused with a frontier spirit. I got a buddy with a Cessna who owes me big. Know what I'm sayin?

If I were more of a prick this would be my answer.